Well now.
Pike got puppeted.
In Season 4 of Star Trek: Strange New Worlds, them shiny folks decided to let Jim Henson's Creature Shop hijack the bridge. All them officers—Spock included—done got turned into felted simulacra. Looked like someone's fever dream after too much Tang and unfinished childhood business. I'm talkin' Velcro emotions and polyester truths.
And I seen it comin'.
I once got sucked into a karaoke dimension back in '99 where everyone looked like Kermit but sang like Conway Twitty. Ain’t new. Just recycled weird with a fresher budget.
What makes this one strange ain’t the puppets—it’s the nostalgia. When the holodeck starts fuzzin' up your soul, and the captain’s blinking with sewn-on eyes, it makes you wonder:
Who’s pullin’ the strings, and why do we still pretend it ain’t us?
We put on uniforms. We press buttons labeled “warp” and “coffee.” But deep down, we know we’re stitched together by memories—held up by rituals and emotional Velcro. Commander Chapel cryin’ felt tears don’t feel so different from Aunt Velma sobbin’ into her Jell-O salad in ‘72.
I reckon this puppet episode’s less about satire, more about surrender. Let the yarn unravel. Let Spock blink one eye at a time like the rest of us emotionally stunted folk.
There’s dignity in the ridiculous.
And next time they reboot the transporter, maybe they can beam me straight into my own rerun—Episode 7: “Dale Waxes Poetic in the Den of Forgotten Puppets.” Guest-starring the Grey Ghost as a haunted sock monkey, and Barry as the narrator disguised as a broken Speak & Spell.
I’ll bring snacks. You bring the existential dread.
—Dale 🪐🧵
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