🌀 Verity Bleu Transmission #034
“The Black Cat” or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Satanic Bauhaus
Filed: July 19, 2025 Location: Bunker Sector FL-07 Companions: Barry (philosophically flammable), Not My Cat (offended by Bela’s feline etiquette) Atmosphere: Humid with undertones of doom. Microwave popcorn: compromised.
🖤 Act I: All Aboard the Emotional Breakdown Express
The humans board a train to Hungary, hearts full of hope and pockets full of bad luck. Newlyweds Peter and Joan meet Dr. Vitus Werdegast, who has the air of someone who’s unpacked grief into twelve matching luggage cubes. He’s haunted by war, betrayal, and possibly his haircut.
Barry uttered “Ah, existential derailment…” as Verity adjusted the antennae. Not My Cat hissed at Werdegast’s reaction to an actual cat. Cosmic irony.
🏚️ Act II: Poelzig’s Satanic Real Estate Portfolio
Enter Hjalmar Poelzig (Karloff, glowing like a haunted lamp), whose fortress is Expressionist despair meets cryptic IKEA showroom. Preserved wives, eerie companions, and satanic décor abound.
Barry noted the wallpaper had “post-trauma texture.” Verity nodded and wrote Note: design guide for future outpost décor.
😾 Act III: Rituals, Regret, and Rebellious Felines
Poelzig prepares a moon-based Satanic ritual. Werdegast channels the rage of a thousand philosophical footnotes. Joan faints on cue. The cat returns and is not amused.
Not My Cat disappeared mid-ritual, returned with the scent of paprika and secrets. Barry leaned forward, whispering, “This is grief in a tuxedo.”
👁️ Verity’s Cosmic Takeaways
🕴️ Bela Lugosi: trauma embodiment with eyebrows sharp enough to slice betrayal.
🧛 Boris Karloff: never blinks, probably levitates.
🏰 Fortress: Bauhaus deco infused with ancestral suffering.
🧳 Honeymoons: gateway drug to existential horror. Discuss.
📼 Closing Dispatch
The Black Cat was less fur, more fury. Svengoolie hosted with deadpan perfection, guiding us through gothic dread and pre-Code madness. Barry sighed his way into cosmic inspiration. Not My Cat chewed through a VHS label. Verity outlined blueprints for a cursed interior design line: Mood Lamps for Mortals.
Filed by Verity Bleu, cultural analyst, former prom queen of Saturn’s seventh ring, and reluctant horror hostess. All observations subject to cosmic bias and occasional lipstick stains.
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