🎄 Dale the Doll’s Haunted Holiday Guide to Svengoolie’s December Schedule 🎄

Ho-ho-horror, kiddies! While the rest of the world is sipping cocoa and pretending fruitcake is edible, Svengoolie is stuffing our stockings with monsters, maniacs, and mechanical revolts. Let’s unwrap each Saturday night like the cursed gifts they are.

🎁 December 6 – The Mummy’s Tomb (1942)

Universal’s bandaged bad boy is back, lumbering through small-town America like Santa after too much eggnog. Lon Chaney Jr. plays Kharis, the mummy who teaches us the true meaning of “don’t mess with ancient curses.” Why watch? Because nothing says “holiday spirit” like a mummy strangling people who disturbed his eternal nap. It’s basically A Christmas Carol—except the ghost is wrapped in gauze and doesn’t bother with redemption.

🎅 December 13 – Duel (1971)

Steven Spielberg’s TV-movie debut pits a mild-mannered motorist against a faceless truck driver who’s angrier than a mall Santa on his smoke break. Why watch? Because it’s pure tension, a minimalist thriller that proves you don’t need monsters when you’ve got a semi with road rage. Forget sleigh rides—this is the ultimate “holiday traffic” nightmare.

🦇 December 20 – DOUBLE FEATURE!

Brides of Dracula (1960)

Hammer Studios serves up gothic glamour with Peter Cushing as Van Helsing battling vampiric aristocrats at a girls’ school. Why watch? Because it’s dripping with atmosphere, candlelit corridors, and fanged femmes who make mistletoe look tame.

House of Svengoolie: Sharktopus (2010)

Yes, a shark with tentacles. Yes, it’s ridiculous. Yes, you should watch it. Why watch? Because Christmas is about miracles, and the fact that this movie exists is proof. It’s the cinematic equivalent of a gag gift—cheap, absurd, and unforgettable.

🤖 December 27 – Creation of the Humanoids (1962)

In a post-apocalyptic future, robots rise against humanity in a philosophical sci-fi tale that’s more thoughtful than your uncle’s political rants at Christmas dinner. Why watch? Because it’s eerie, cerebral, and surprisingly relevant—like A Christmas Carol rewritten by Isaac Asimov. Plus, the humanoids’ makeup is unsettling enough to make you rethink New Year’s resolutions.

🎄 Dale’s Closing Snark

So there you have it: Svengoolie’s December is a sleigh ride through curses, road rage, vampires, tentacled sharks, and robot revolts. Forget chestnuts roasting on an open fire—these flicks will roast your sanity instead.

Tune in every Saturday at 8pm EST on MeTV, and let’s keep the holidays haunted.