Tape #2 — "Static Bride" 📼 Posted by Dale T. Doll, May 13 Greetings, analog adventurers— Today's haunted horror is a cla...
Tape #2 — "Static Bride"
📼 Posted by Dale T. Doll, May 13
Greetings, analog adventurers—
Today's haunted horror is a classic slice of cursed matrimonial madness: Static Bride.
🕯️ Backstory:
I found this one wedged behind a broken Beta machine at a church rummage sale outside Wewahitchka. No label, no case—just a plain black VHS, sticky with what I hope was candle wax. Naturally, I jammed it into Barry's VCR the moment I got home. (You're welcome, Barry.)
👰 The Tape:
It starts off innocently enough: a grainy wedding reception in somebody’s backyard. Bad buffet. Worse dancing. Your standard '90s wedding tape, right?
Wrong.
About twenty minutes in, the bride—white dress, sunflowers, veil and all—looks straight at the camera... and starts screaming for help.
Not the kind of cute, laughing scream you might expect from a tipsy bride.
A real, throat-shredding, help me kind of scream.
The weird part?
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If you rewind the tape and rewatch, the footage plays a little faster.
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The bride's movements get jerkier, more frantic.
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Each time, her screams sound closer... like she's clawing her way through the static toward you.
I tried rewinding three times.
Barry says that's why the front porch lights keep flickering now.
I say that's why he’s not allowed to touch my "research materials" anymore.
Not My Cat took one look at the TV, hissed like I owed her money, and bolted under the couch. (A rare show of good judgment, unlike a certain Sharon who once tried to make me watch Bridges of Madison County on VHS. Talk about cursed tapes...)
📼 Physical Details:
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Smell: burnt marshmallows and ozone
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Mold Rating: Moderate (visible around the edges)
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Extra: Tape housing sometimes feels warm, even unplugged
🎬 Dale’s Survival Tip:
If a wedding tape makes you the "something borrowed," you better run before you become the "something buried."
🔪 Next up (May 20):
Sweatin’ to the Spirits, Vol. 3
Stay haunted,
—Dale
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