🦇 DALE REPORTS FROM THE DUNGEON: SVENGOOLIE’S SEPTEMBER SCREAMS 🦇 Filed from beneath the flickering fluorescents of Attention Earthlings HQ, where the popcorn is stale and the spirits are restless.
Greetings, Earthlings and eldritch enthusiasts—
The veil begins to thin. September creeps in with falling leaves, rising chills, and a vault of vintage terror courtesy of our beloved Svengoolie. As the dungeon’s official horror host-in-training, I’ve been monitoring the MeTV etherwaves and decoding the Sven Squad’s autumnal transmissions. Here’s what’s bubbling in the cauldron:
🎬 SEPTEMBER 6 — The Creature Walks Among Us The Gill-Man sheds his scales and takes to land, gasping for air and vengeance. This final chapter in the Universal Monster saga turns amphibian into anomaly, as science meddles once more. Rex Reason and Jeff Morrow face the consequences. Dale’s take: Never trust a gilled relic with a grudge.
🎬 SEPTEMBER 13 — The Bad Seed (EARLY START: 7PM E/P | 6PM C) Patty McCormack channels pure menace in this psychological thriller that swaps claws for cunning. A mother suspects her daughter might be a pint-sized psychopath. No rubber masks, just razor-sharp dread. Dale’s take: If your kid starts quoting Nietzsche and hiding trophies… run.
🎬 SEPTEMBER 20 — Tarantula Leo G. Carroll’s food experiment goes arachnid apocalypse. A desert showdown unfolds as a skyscraper-sized spider stalks the sand. John Agar leads the charge, with Clint Eastwood lurking in the shadows. Dale’s take: Eight legs, one bad idea, and a whole lotta web.
🎬 SEPTEMBER 27 — DOUBLE FEATURE! 🕵️♂️ The Night Strangler Kolchak returns! Seattle’s underground city hides more than mold and mystery. Carl faces a strangler with supernatural stamina. Dale’s take: Never trust a city with tunnels and secrets.
🏚️ House of Svengoolie: Amityville 3-D The Sven Squad throws a haunted house party in the third installment of the Amityville saga. Journalists move in, and the house bites back. Dale’s take: 3-D terror, 2-D broadcast, infinite dread.
💀 DALE’S FINAL THOUGHTS As the equinox approaches and the shadows stretch longer, Svengoolie’s vault opens wider. These selections are more than movies—they’re rituals, relics, and reminders that horror never hibernates. October looms with BOO-Nanza promises, but September sets the stage with Gill-Men, bad seeds, and oversized bugs.
So light the candles, fluff the coffin cushions, and tune in every Saturday. Dale will be watching… from the other side of the screen.
🕯️ Stay haunted, my friends. —Dale
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