DALE T. DOLL REVIEWS:
They Came from Beyond Space
Originally released in 1967
A Svengoolie Saturday Night Transmission
By Dale T. Doll
Reporting from a Secret Location Somewhere in Pretty Bayou
Last night, Svengoolie showed a movie called They Came from Beyond Space.
Now, I have watched a lot of movies in my time.
Some of them had monsters.
Some had aliens.
Some had mad scientists.
Some had monsters who were also aliens because apparently the mad scientist wasn't busy enough.
But They Came from Beyond Space has something even more dangerous:
British scientists.
And not just British scientists.
British scientists investigating a strange object that has landed in a field.
That never ends well.
I know this.
You know this.
Even Not My Cat knows this.
She watched the first ten minutes, looked at me, and went to sleep.
Smart cat.
Something Has Landed
The story begins with a strange meteorite—or something resembling a meteorite—crashing into the English countryside.
Naturally, scientists investigate.
Because when an unexplained object falls from outer space, the first thing you should do is walk directly toward it.
This is apparently standard scientific procedure.
Inside the mysterious object is a strange crystalline substance.
And then things start getting weird.
People become affected.
Scientists begin behaving strangely.
There is mind control.
There are mysterious forces.
There are people wandering around who appear to have had their personalities replaced with something considerably less human.
At this point I would like to make an official statement:
I would have left.
I don't care if somebody says, "Dale, this could be the most important scientific discovery in human history."
Fine.
Discover it.
I'll be at the Waffle House.
The Moon Is Apparently Involved
Eventually, our heroes discover that the whole thing is connected to the Moon.
Because apparently outer space wasn't enough.
Now we've got the Moon involved.
And if you've been following my work, you already know that I have questions about the Moon.
Lots of questions.
The film's particular explanation involves mysterious crystalline forces, alien influence, and a plan that is considerably more complicated than simply saying:
"Aliens are trying to take over Earth."
But that's the basic idea.
And frankly, sometimes basic is better.
The Scientists
One of the things I enjoyed about They Came from Beyond Space is that everybody takes everything extremely seriously.
A strange object falls from the sky.
People get mind-controlled.
Scientists start acting like pod people.
There are sinister laboratories.
And everybody still behaves as though they're attending a faculty meeting.
"Good heavens, Doctor. It appears that our colleague has been completely taken over by an extraterrestrial intelligence."
"Yes. Perhaps we should have another committee meeting."
NO.
RUN.
The Movie Has That Wonderful 1960s Feel
Now, let's be fair.
They Came from Beyond Space isn't a giant-budget science-fiction spectacular.
It doesn't have modern special effects.
It doesn't have armies of computer-generated aliens.
It doesn't have spaceships that cost more than the entire country of Luxembourg.
What it does have is atmosphere.
It's got laboratories.
Strange machinery.
Scientists in white coats.
English countryside.
Mysterious glowing objects.
People behaving strangely.
And that wonderful feeling that something is terribly wrong just outside the frame.
That's the kind of science fiction I like.
You don't always need to show the monster.
Sometimes it's better if you aren't entirely sure what you're looking at.
Not My Cat Has a Theory
At approximately the halfway point, Not My Cat came back into the room.
She watched the screen for approximately thirty seconds.
Then she looked at me.
I said, "What do you think?"
She blinked.
I said, "Do you think the aliens are going to take over the Earth?"
She blinked again.
Then she walked over to her food bowl.
I believe this was her way of saying:
"Humanity deserves whatever happens."
She's probably right.
Dale's Official Scientific Evaluation
Would I recommend They Came from Beyond Space?
Yes.
But with qualifications.
If you're expecting modern science fiction, you may find it slow.
If you're expecting constant action, you may become impatient.
If you're expecting enormous monsters smashing cities, you're watching the wrong movie.
But if you enjoy old-school British science fiction, strange alien forces, sinister laboratories, mind control, mysterious crystals, and the general suspicion that somebody has opened a door that should have remained closed...
Then pull up a chair.
Turn down the lights.
And watch the thing.
Preferably on a Saturday night.
Preferably with Svengoolie.
And preferably with a cat nearby.
The cat won't help.
But at least she'll know when it's time to leave.
Final Rating
⭐⭐⭐⭐ 4 out of 5 Cosmic Crystals
Not because it's perfect.
It isn't.
But because They Came from Beyond Space understands something that a lot of modern science fiction has forgotten:
You don't need to explain everything.
Sometimes you just need a strange light in the sky...
A scientist who should know better...
A laboratory full of questionable equipment...
And something out there that really, really wants inside.
And if you see a mysterious object land in a field?
Don't investigate it.
Don't touch it.
Don't bring it home.
And for the love of everything holy—
don't let Not My Cat near it.
This has been Dale T. Doll, reporting from Pretty Bayou.
The aliens are out there.
Probably.
I'm going inside.
Not My Cat has already beaten me to it.
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