Dale T. Doll's Hurricane Isaias Preparation Report

 

🌪️ Dale T. Doll's Hurricane Isaias Preparation Report

Featuring Barry, Apparently

Good evening, folks.

This is Dale T. Doll reporting from the Sandcastle News Network Weather Desk, which has been relocated to the kitchen table due to budget cuts.

As Hurricane Isaias approaches, many residents are busy preparing.

Some are checking batteries.

Some are stocking water.

Some are reviewing evacuation routes.

Dale T. Doll's Hurricane Isaias Preparation Report

And then there's Barry.

I asked Barry if he was concerned about the storm.

Barry took a sip of coffee and said:

"If you're zombie ready, you're hurricane ready."

Now, I don't fully understand what that means, but he said it with the confidence of a man who owns both an emergency flashlight and three cans of chili dating back to the previous administration.

Apparently, Barry's hurricane preparedness plan includes:

✅ Bottled water

✅ Batteries

✅ Shelf-stable food

✅ First aid supplies

✅ A Bible

✅ Enough coffee to negotiate with the undead

When I pointed out that hurricanes and zombies are not the same thing, Barry informed me that both situations involve staying indoors, protecting supplies, and avoiding unnecessary travel.

I reluctantly admit he may have a point.

Meanwhile, Floridians continue their annual tradition of purchasing every loaf of bread and gallon of milk within a fifty-mile radius.

No one knows why.

Scientists remain baffled.

The ducks remain unconcerned.

In all seriousness, preparation is wisdom, not worry. We do what we can, trust God with what we cannot, and help our neighbors whenever possible.

So secure your lawn furniture, charge your devices, and keep a watchful eye on the weather.

And if the storm changes course tomorrow?

Well, welcome to Florida.

This is Dale T. Doll reporting from Panama City, where hurricane season is less a season and more a personality trait.

☕🌴

Dale T. Doll
Chief Meteorologist, Zombie Preparedness Division
Sandcastle News Network™